Crosshairs - Military Matters in Review |
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Sailors are Reasonable (SAR)The Saga of Foredeck FredInfinity Publishing ISBN 0-7414-5764-4. Paper. $9.95. Copyright 2010. 5.5x8.25. 66 pp.Buy from Amazon.com ExcerptEvery time I start to overtake one of them in a channel, he swings his boat around, yanks up his sails, and loses all control of his vessel. When I finally pass him at dead slow speed, and fall behind in my schedule, he glares at me 'cause my wake is bouncing him about. I can never tell which way he's headed because his boat don't always go the direction the bow points. I swear their keels have to be as deep as their masts are tall; it's the only way I reckon they keep from tipping over. And with those deep keels they constantly run aground, with nobody to pull 'em off except real boaters like me. Far as I can tell, the only thing the ragpickers are good for is to tell me where I am. They oughtta know 'cause half the insides of their boats are stuffed with charts and sextants and that kind of junk. Finally, they're just plain cheats! Most of 'em have a motor or an engine hidden aboard somewhere. While claiming to be sailing they're generally putt-putting along under power, wallowing about at slow speeds in their hybrid boats, actually enjoying the worst of two worlds while getting in everybody else's way. Written by a ship captain Sailboaters get the strange idea that, because they sometimes have the right of way, their cockleshells are as tough as my ship. They have the odd conception that they can mosey across my bow with serene confidence, expecting me to halt 20,000 tons of steel hull slamming along at 25 knots as easy as you can brake your car at a downtown stoplight. Written by a marina operator If you were in my business, which would you rather see pull up to your fuel pier, a 30-foot fishing boat that buys 200 gallons of gas, or a sailboat whose owner hands you a 2-gallon fuel can and says, "Fill it up."? And did you ever watch one of them trying to park his boat? Absolutely unwieldy. I spend more time helping one of them than I do 10 powerboaters, and I've never gotten a tip from a sailboater yet. Course I'll admit they cause no ruckus at night. They arrive generally before dark, have a couple of drinks, use my showers, eat a little something, and conk out by 8:30. Written by a young armchair sailor I'm gonna get me a boat and learn to sail one of these days. Written by a middle-aged armchair sailor I'm gonna get me a boat and learn to sail one of these days. Written on the tombstone of an armchair sailor He was gonna get himself a boat and learn to sail someday Written by others Why would they ever buy a boat that tilts so much they can't stand up, a boat that has no room inside, a boat that forces them to stay on deck in all kinds of weather, a boat that can't go fast in any wind, and a boat so fragile it can't bump the pier without crunching? Some people even live aboard those things. Can you imagine? Don't misunderstand me, I keep an open mind. I might even go out on one sometime just to see what it's like - so long as I can get aboard all right, and there's not too much wind, and I can sit where it's comfortable while they do their thing to make the boat go. Sure, I've got an open mind. I even know some of them; they would be reasonable people if they stayed away from their boats, and if they would talk about anything but sailing. Written by the author and his wife We are they. Sailors are reasonable. If you doubt it, just consult Foredeck Fred.
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